Writing is a form of personal freedom. It frees us from the mass identity we see in the making all around us. In the end, writers will write not to be outlaw heroes of some underculture but mainly to save themselves, to survive as individuals. — Don Delillo
Thank you for the kind comments you have left over the past two days on my posts about Nate. You have offered comfort and insight as my husband and I process Nate’s unexpected death and compose his eulogy for the funeral on Friday. This morning when I awoke, I realized the hole in my heart was more at peace than it has been. I believe part of the reason is because I have taken the time to write about Nate and have shared those words with others.
Too often we push away the things that hurt. We brush them under the rug, shove them into a dark corner, and tie them up in the bottom of a drawer. Our classrooms are filled with children who are hurting. Although I’m not an advocate for making writing workshop a therapy session; I do believe one of the truths about writing is it helps us to heal.
In a world where people avoid the things that make them hurt, we have an opportunity to teach students the healing power of writing. This is part of making writing workshop genuine and responsive to the needs of our students. This isn’t a lesson we will be able to “schedule ahead” in our lesson plan books; however, it is one we can be prepared to give when tragedy strikes.
TWO WRITING TEACHERS 
Sometimes words are enough. 🙂 I learned this when a parent of a student passed way. None of my students knew what to say when this boy returned to us, full of grief. But they all spent some time writing cards and working out what they wanted to say until they were satisfied it was enough. He, in turn, was able to read them over and over and over. And that was more than enough to bring him some comfort.
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Ruth,
I do believe writing is theraputic and can help with healing. My journal is a place that I can go to unleash a flood of emotion and thoughts. It’s been like a best friend. It is there for me during the dark days and the joyful ones. Writing helps me make sense of things. There is also a beauty in being able to go back to a journal and read what was going on your life, how you were feeling, and how far you’ve come.
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Ruth,
I am so sorry for Nate’s family and your family’s loss. Thank you for sharing your story with us as many of us have now learned from the gifts Nate offered in his brief life.
This morning I received a poem from a teacher friend in memory of her son’s teacher who just died ovarian cancer this week. She said she needed to write and write and then the poem just poured out early yesterday morning. Sometimes it is difficult to write in the midst of pain, but
writing does heal: the writing, the reading, and the sharing…even long afterward.
Bless you.
Amy
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Just this morning I was reading a section from Penny Kittle’s Public Teaching when she was working through a similar situation and talked about how powerful it was for her students that she integrated writing about the topic into her classroom. She talked about how it was not something that she would be able to do every year because it would not be the same as when she was in the moment, which reminded me of your comment that it is not something you can plan for at a certain time. The combination of reading that section of her book and your post really drove the point home – an important thought to keep in mind.
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Ruth-I am so sorry and am keeping you in my prayers. We often think that our words aren’t enough when those we care about face hard things…and yet words seem to be providing you with comfort, strength, and a way to live through this. I hope your writing continues to bring you peace, and that you realize it is allowing a great many people to really know Nate. What an amazing gift.
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Ruth, you wrote: “Our classrooms are filled with children who are hurting” and I find these words truly haunting. In a cruel twist of irony, we received word from our children’s high school yesterday that a classmate took her own life this weekend. Two young lives, so full of promise and hope, have ended too early. Being open to grief and pain allows us to enter the lives of our students – as writing teachers we are in a unique position to allow our kids to express what is in their hearts, to allow them to explore their souls. Thank you for sharing your personal slice of life, and therein reminding us of the power of writing.
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I filled books full of poetry and prose during my parents very ugly divorce. I believe the paper and pens saved me. I often share this with my students if they are going through a difficult time and have given many a journal for them to write in at home.
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